Well Played Karma, Well Played...

I enjoy a good dare.  Ask anyone who spends a lot of time with me and they'll tell you that I RARELY turn one down.  I'm also known as the trouble-maker, the loud one, the shit disturber, "crazy Katie" and yes, I've been known to poke the stick in the lion's cage a time or two.  It's like I get off on shocking people, always dancing on the line of inappropriateness.  You know what I don't get off on?  Karma.  I think she's a real bitch.

One time I innocently went to a Purdue/Notre Dame football game at Purdue and ended up with karma being on her period.  We were all having a good time tailgating and drinking when bad things happened to good people.  

This is an example of one of those times when the joke was on you me.

Oh.My.Gah. you guys look at that huge train thing driving around the parking lot!  

You mean the Boiler Maker?

Sure.  I'm gonna go ride it.

Well, you might not want to.

Dare Me?

Ha, ha, ha...Yep, I do.

OK

Good luck.

For the next hour I rode around the ENTIRE Purdue Campus, with band members.  Mind you I was no longer young enough to be a college student (unless I was studying to be a doctor), had NOTHING in common with these people and I was dressed head to toe in Fighting Irish gear.  Worst part?  We made a stop at every other block to pick up another student in the band and it was the same routine every time:

Who's the girl in Notre Dame clothes?

Don't know, she got on in the parking lot.

Ha...idiot drunk fan probably.

Awkward smile & wave.

After exactly 63 minutes (yeah, I kept track) I was never so happy to see the Purdue football stadium.  

Note to self large trains that are mobile and not on a track are only cool when you are under the age of 7.

Excuse Me While I Take This Foot Out of My Mouth...

What is it about directions that make you not want to read them step-by-step?  I do this thing where I read a few steps and assume I know exactly what I need to do next and then subsequently skip steps and end up "what-the-fucking" the directions (because CLEARLY it isn't MY FAULT) when I have to back track because I missed a step or screwed something up.  The same thing happens with a really good book.  I want to know what happens next so bad that I skip all the details that over-explain the surroundings and when something major happens later and I'm not sure who the HELL Mrs. Robinson is I'm pissed at my Kindle for skipping pages.  I mean really people, *SPOILER ALERT* no one cares what exact color grey Christian Grey's eyes are in the Fifty Shades book...we want to know what he's going to smack Anna's ass with next.

Call it lack of patience or tell me I have no attention to detail but I have a bit of get.to.the.point-itis.  So last night I was skimming Facebook and happened upon a photo that caught my eye.  It was a picture of 8 shots lined up in a semi-circle and they ranged in colors LIKE A RAINBOW...it was booze and it was glorious.  So I read (aka assumed I knew what it said) the caption and commented.  Check, check AND chiggity check check.  Go back, reread my comment, smile smugly at myself and then reread the caption.  Oh God.  OH. MY. GOD.  I'll allow the photos to speak for themselves.  But for those of you that are like me, I'll make a long story short and tell you I called someone a skank.  Nice Kate, real fucking nice.

  

Tell me about a time when you had to "open mouth, insert foot".

Friends in Low Places

Do you believe in soul mates?  Some people do, some people don’t.  I do; and I believe in more than the kind you are probably thinking of.  Back in October of 2002 I met my “platonic soul mate”.  It was hate at first sight.  She was the "new girl" in our very small, close-knit office and she was abrasive and brutally honest and the first few days in the office she just sat there and stared at us all like a total creeper.  To this day she’ll claim she was told to watch everyone to learn the job flow.  Riiiight.   Luckily for me I learned to love her by that following February and now I can’t imagine my life without her.  Everything I hated about her is what I love most about her now.  She’s an idiot and makes me pee my pants laughing (clearly you are all aware that this isn’t a hard thing to accomplish) and she's my “same difference”.  Don’t worry, I’m not getting mushy on you…there’s a point to my story. 

Last year she convinced me to run my first race ever and we ran a 10k together.  I became addicted to races and a few months later we ran the Warrior Dash next.  Clearly it was awesome and we had to celebrate the only way we know how—BOOZE.  We had the complimentary beer they give you and a few more and then went home.  We quickly showered and headed to Jewel to get, yep you guessed it, more booze.  We grabbed a cart and proceeded to shop for celebratory items like 2 cases of beer, snacks, tabloid mags and Father’s Day cards.  Yes, you heard that right, it was the day before Father’s Day and I like to always be ahead of the game so I headed for the card aisle.  Nic’s ADD kicked in so she took the cart and left me in the card aisle saying she would be looking at magazines.  After ensuring all Hallmark employees would remain employed for the next year I went to find Nic.  For anyone who knows her you will not be shocked to learn that I could hear her before I found her.  However; when I got to the aisle with magazines I didn’t find her, just our cart, ALONE.  I followed the sound of the “machine gun”, which is the nickname she was given for her laugh, and was led to the liquor department.  Nic had found a friend and was drinking tequila with her.  As she saw me approaching she started yelling and waving, “COME HERE, I found a friend, WE’RE HAVING A PARTY!”  Yes, she found a liquor rep who was giving out free samples of tequila.  It was like we found the Chuck E. Cheese for adults!!!  We had free samples in the form of ALCOHOL, HALLELUJA, GOD BLESS AMERICA!  Needless to say we hung out with our new friend (Lindsey) for a bit.  She taught us that you can make a margarita with just the tequila and a little Mr. & Mrs. T’s Sweet and Sour mix.  We made her workday a little bit better that day.  But more than that we learned a powerful lesson that day—people say you can save money by eating free samples at Costco or Sam’s Club, but we learned you can tie one on by finding a liquor rep at your local grocery store.  And then we had to call for a ride home…whoops.